Discernment of True Desire

In many faith traditions, the word ‘desire’ gets a bad reputation, such as desire causes suffering, it is of the flesh, it is our will and not God’s.  While these things may or may not be true, in spiritual direction, we don’t believe in getting rid of our desires. We believe it is best to discern and tend to them. 

Desires play a key role in discernment (the ability to see clearly) by bringing our whole selves to God. Think of desires as having layers. Our first glimpse at a desire is the top layer. Likely there is something much deeper, more central, or basic than this initial naming or noticing. The practice of asking what desire is beneath this desire becomes clarifying as to what the deeper, more true desire is. Until we understand what that is, we could expose ourselves to rash decisions, repetition of addictive behaviors, or unanchored living. It will likely take going down numerous layers before we get to what is really going on. This is where we meet God who wants to fulfill every desire we have.   It is very possible that when we come down to the core desire, we find that there are many ways to fulfill them other than the meager thing we were wanting so badly. Why have a crumb when we can have a banquet? 

“Our hearts are restless until they rest in thee, O God.”  ~ St. Augustine

Practice for Seeking your Heart’s True Desire:

Take a relaxed position, dedicating yourself to God.  Allow this willingness to be more important than any outcome. 

When you are ready, simply ask yourself, “what is it I want?”
Once the answer reveals itself, then gently ask yourself
“why do I want this?”

Once the answer is revealed, further investigate by asking
“what is the desire beneath this desire?” Once named, what is the desire beneath that desire?

Continue to repeat this process until no further desires surface.  Once your core desire is before you, ask God to fulfill that desire in whatever way God chooses and trust that more will be revealed.  It might be helpful to have a spiritual director be a witness to your findings, who can help you see more than you alone can see.